


That's just terrific

by Jacqueline_64



Category: Starsky & Hutch
Genre: Dialogue-Only, Gen, Humor, Short Story
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-29
Updated: 2019-08-29
Packaged: 2020-09-29 19:08:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 655
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20441030
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jacqueline_64/pseuds/Jacqueline_64
Summary: Starting an investigation into a murder case can sometimes turn into "one of those days"...





	That's just terrific

The most used disclaimer:  
The TV show "Starsky and Hutch", and the characters from it  
are the property of the persons who hold the copyrights  
and other legal rights to them.  
This story is a work of fiction, written for pleasure only  
and not for profit. It is not intended, in any way,  
to infringe on these preexisting copyrights.

#  **THAT'S JUST TERRIFIC**

By Jacqueline © May 11, 2003  
_unedited short story_

"What do you have for us, Pete?"

"Decapitated body found behind that bush, head found in that ditch on the right. Looks like a male, 35-45, Caucasian. Bruises on several areas of the body, no clothes on the body or anywhere in the area. No results yet on any sexual violence."

"Terrific."

"Who found the body?"

"That gentleman over there."

"Who's the crying lady?"

"The guy who found the body was going to take his coat off, to cover up the body. She tried to stop him and that got a bit out of hand."

"Very wise lady, he would have contaminated the evidence. Did they argue?"

"I don't know what the heck went on there. They're both still shook up from the find."

"Why don't you go talk to our raincoat over there, while I see if I can calm that lady down a bit."

"Why do I always gotta do the weirdoes?"

"Well, it takes one to know one, Starsk ----"

"Terrific."

\---------------------

"I understand you found the body?"

"Yes, James Hello."

"Afternoon. Detective Starsky, homicide. Where exactly were you, when you noticed the body?"

"I was heading for those bushes."

"The bushes where ---"

"The bushes that he's lying behind."

"Uh-huh. Ahem. Did you have any particular reason why you were heading for those bushes?"

"Yes, sir."

"---- And? What were those reasons, Mister ---?"

"James Hello."

"Yes, afternoon. What reasons -- why were you headed for those bushes? Could you already see him from the path?"

"No, not exactly. I mean --- that was not why I was heading there."

"Then why, Mister ---?"

"James Hello."

"Yeah, hi. Why were ya going there, if you couldn't see the body from where you were?"

"It's my regular spot."

"------"

"I work there."

"Excuse me?"

"I conduct my business at that location."

"Your business? What kinda business are you in, exactly, Mister ---?"

"James Hello."

"Yeah, hi, James what?"

"Hello."

"Hi! Your last name please."

"Hello!"

"Enough already! James. Last name --- aaaah, forgeddaboudit. What kinda business?"

"Hello."

"-----"

"I think that's his last name, Starsk. You're Mr. Hello, right?"

"Yes, that's right. I've been trying to tell this Detective so, but I don't think he got the message."

"Well, that happens from time to time. Could you just stay here for a minute, Mr. Hello? I need to have a word with my partner. Thank you. ---- Close your mouth."

"Did you see that? The guy's a ---"

"Flasher, yeah I know. The lady wasn't upset because he was about to contaminate the evidence. She was upset because when she approached, he opened his raincoat and introduced himself."

"Lemme guess: 'Hello!'?"

"Bingo."

"Terrific. So, so far we got a decapitated naked male body, a traumatized incoherent lady and a flashing pervert and no real eyewitnesses ----"

"Guys, guys --- I've got another witness for you. A Mr. Jackson, was lying on that bench, on the other side of those bushes. He'd just woken up."

"Just woken up?"

"Yeah, he's homeless."

"But he witnessed the murder? Or the dropping of the body?"

"Well, considering the minute amount of blood on the spot, I'd say he was murdered elsewhere, then dumped here later. Jackson witnessed the dropping of the body --- probably."

"Terrific. Anything's better than those other two."

"Wait a minute, Starsk. What do you mean by 'probably', Pete? Did he witness it, or not?"

"Well, there's a slight problem. He heard some weird noises from around the time that's estimated that the body was dropped here."

"What kind of slight problem?"

"Mr. Jackson is blind."

"------"

"Well, that's just terrific."


End file.
